


At the cliffs edge, I will be waiting for you

by signpainter1



Series: After all is said and done [1]
Category: Banana Fish (Anime & Manga)
Genre: Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Heavy Angst, Light Angst, M/M, Not Beta Read, Okumura Eiji Needs a Hug
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-08
Updated: 2019-04-08
Packaged: 2020-01-06 21:37:55
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,470
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18396848
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/signpainter1/pseuds/signpainter1
Summary: Here lies Ash Lynx and Eiji Okumura.Two souls intertwined as oneReborn and together forever at last.





	At the cliffs edge, I will be waiting for you

**Author's Note:**

> Warning: This story contained suicide like themes if that triggers you please continue with caution.
> 
> Also as the tag states this story is not beta read so if you see any grammar/spelling mistakes feel free to point them out.

The graveyard was a tranquil place. It was almost ironic how Ash’s whole life was a mess of noise and unrest, yet he was buried in such a still peaceful environment. All was quiet except for the rustle of wind and distant sounds of waves hitting the shore. The sun shone brightly down on the little crowd, mocking them with its warmth and brilliance. The green grass and colorful flowers were in stark contrast to the black suited group standing around an open grave. Max, Ibe, Sing, Eiji and a hand full of Ash’s gang stood quietly looking down at the coffin. It was hard to believe Ash was in there.

“We should get started.” Max finally muttered. The group hesitated for a fraction of a second and then Bones and Alex lifted the coffin off the ground and placed it into the hole. It looked so small down there beneath their feet. No one wanted to cover it; doing so would confirm that Ash was gone. After a good five minutes of stillness Max finally sighed and stepped up next to the grave. He bent down and picked up one of the shovels sitting there and started to fill the hole in. The sound of digging dirt seemed to wake Ash’s gang from their stupor and after a few shovels full some of them stepped forward to help. As the last of the coffin’s black wooden lid disappeared from view under the brown earth Eiji, who had been standing stature like since they arrived, fell to his knees and buried his face in his hands. Ibe crouched down next to him and placed a hand on the younger man’s shoulder. He could feel Eiji tremble under his touch and wished he could do more for him.

It had been almost a year since they had last been in America. Ibe had been given the news of Ash’s death only a month earlier. It took them a while for Max get a hold of Ash’s body due to Ash’s criminal record and Ash’s father’s unwillingness to help. Max had said that it would be best if Ibe was the one to give Eiji the new. Ibe did not want to be the one who would break Eiji’s heart and he had held off for almost a week before telling Eiji of the tragedy. Eiji had been shocked when he heard the news and instantly went into denial claiming that there was no way Ash would get himself killed.  He became frustrated and angry with Ibe accursing him of lying. Finally, he had understood that Ash was truly gone and he would never see him again. Eiji had completely broken down and sobbed desperately. Nothing his family or Ibe said could calm him. He had cried almost all the way to New York, muffling his sobs in the thin blanket the stewardess handed out on the plane. If Ibe tried to comfort him he drew away from him and claimed, he was fine. Eiji had cried on and off through the whole drive to the little town by the sea where Ash was going to be buried, away from the bustle and crowds of New York. At the hotel, Ibe had heard Eiji’s muffled weeping through the thin walls almost every night leading up to the funeral. Then three days before the funeral Eiji suddenly stopped crying and had become eerily quiet. Instead he would zoning out for hours at a time staring at the walls around him. His personality also seemed to be affected. One minute he was hugging everyone and telling them how much they meant to him, the next he was withdrawn and moodily, curling up in his bed and refusing to talk to anyone at all. Max, Sing and Ash’s gang put up with it. If that was the way Eiji dealt with his grief, then they wouldn’t stop him. They all were dealing with it in different ways.

Today at the funeral Eiji didn’t shed a single tear. He stood stone still with the others his arms wrapped tightly around his torso as if to hold himself together. He avoided everyone’s eyes and refused to even look at the coffin even when it was being lowered into the grave. Ibe worried that Eiji was in denial of Ash’s death again; as if the younger man thought that if he didn’t look at the scene in front of him than the coffin and the grave wouldn’t exist. It wasn’t until the coffin was completely buried that Eiji broke down. He still didn’t cry but he was shaking so hard that Ibe was afraid he would fall apart.

After a good five minutes of shoveling, Ash was completely buried. Sing placed the headstone next to the grave and stood back. Everyone surveyed the words engraved on in:

_Here lies Aslan Jade Callenreese (Ash Lynx)_

_A leader, a friend_

_Free and at peace at last._

Max and the others who were burying Ash put down their shovels and stood back forming a half circle around the grave. No one knew what do to next. They knew that the funeral was over, but no one had the heart to leave and officially end it.  It would be the final proof that Ash was gone. That the Lynx would never rule the streets of New York again. It was that thought alone that kept them all standing there around the grave. It took a good hour and a half before anyone got the energy to leave. One by one, they hesitantly made their way out of the graveyard; with back glances and murmured “good byes”. Finally, only Ibe ad Eiji were left crouching next to Ash’s grave. Ibe, noticing that everyone else was gone, gently tapped Eiji’s arm.

“Ei-chan” he said softly. “We should head back to the hotel. We have a flight later tonight.” Ibe knew it would be hard for them to stay in America with memories of Ash raw in Eiji’s mind. He had planned the flight back on the same day as the funeral in the hopes that the traveling and being back in Japan would help Eiji come to terms with Ash’s death. Eiji was quite for a moment and then asked:

“Can I stay here for a while longer? I need some more time to say…goodbye.” Eiji gulped and gave a little shutter. Ibe felt his heart break a little. He couldn’t tell Eiji to hurry up and go. He could only nodding his head and gently say:

“Of course.” Ibe patted Eiji’s shoulder and stood up to leave. “I’ll see you back at the hotel.” He turned and began to slowly walk away.

“Ibe-san.” Eiji suddenly called out and the older Japanese man paused. “Thank you…for everything.” Ibe felt shame rise up inside of him.

“You don’t regret it?” Ibe asked quietly surveying the crouching figure. “I was the one that brought you here. I thought it would help you…” Eiji turned his head and looked up at Ibe with a small sad smile.

“No, I’m happy I got to meet Ash. I’m happy I got to meet all of them. I…” words failed Eiji and, after a moment pause, he turned back to the grave. Ibe watched him for another few seconds but it seemed that Eiji had finished talking. He turned and continued his walk towards the graveyard’s gate, leaving the young Japanese man by himself.

Eiji sat there in front of the grave for a while longer in silence. His eyes were shut, his head bowed, and his hands clasped together as if in prayer. After a while Eiji opened his eyes and slowly got up. He picked up the small bag that he had brought with him to the funeral and slung it over his shoulder. Eiji turned and walked away from the grave without looking back. At the edge of the graveyard he turned and walked down a path, not the one that lead to the small town where he and Ibe were staying, but another path that lead towards the ocean. He walked until he saw a small gravely dirt road leading off into a green field.  He turned down this path and traveled down it’s winding ways pass trees and flowers, rocks and ridges until it ended the path ended abruptly, opening up to a in a small grassy area overlooking a steep a cliff. Below the cliff the ocean tumbled and roads aggressively against jagged rocks, eager to eat up anything that fell into it.

Eiji paused a few feet away from the edge of the cliff and, taking a deep long breath, closed his eyes. After a few moments he opened them again and bent down to untie his shoes. He slipped them off and stepped away from them. Eiji reached into his pocket and pulled out a small letter addressed to Ibe. He looked down at it for a second and then stuck it into one of his shoes. He hoped Ibe would find the message and understand why he did what he did. He hoped that Ibe would be able to explain it to his parents and sister. When he finished, Eiji tugged off his sweater and stuffed it in the little bag he was carrying. Without the extra warmth he found himself shivering slightly as a small cool breeze fluttered up to him from the ocean. It was after he took off his shoes and sweater that he became hyper aware of what he was planning to do. He stood there for a few seconds shivering before steeling himself. The young man turned his attention back to the edge of the cliff. He approached it and looked down at the angry dark water rushing below. At this sight his confidence left him for a second and he faltered.

“You don’t need to do this.” A voice said softly. Eiji continued to look down at the turmoil below, his hands clasping the small bag tightly.

“Yes, I do.” He whispered his pale face scrunched up in determination.

“Your family and Ibe will devastated. All of them will be hurt by your decision.”

“I know.” Eiji whimpered his voice almost inaudible over the crashing waves.

“They might never recover from this.”

“I KNOW!” Eiji yelled as his strength gave out. He sunk to his knees, putting his trembling hands over his face. “I’m being selfish, I know that. But I can’t…I want to be with you…”

“I know”

 Eiji rocked back and forward, trying to fight the emotions that were overwhelming him. He needed to sort his thoughts. He needed to explain himself, justify his selfish actions. He knew there was nothing he could say that would make the people he love’s pain go away but he still wanted to say something.

“I can’t go on the plane. I can’t go back to Japan and pretend nothing happened.” Eiji said slowly. “I can’t go back to a life without you. When I’m with you I feel so…alive, so happy. I can’t return to the person I once was. I can’t be what they want me to be!”

“But you’re throwing away your life. You will never be able to go back. Never see your home town again. Never see your family again. Is that what you want?!”

“I don’t know. All I know is that I want to walk beside you again. I want to be with you. I want forever.” Eiji paused for a couple of a seconds then he sighed as his shoulder’s relaxed. “That’s why.” Eiji stood up, new determent gleaming in his eyes. “That’s why I’m doing this. I have made my decision.” The voice was quiet. Eiji knew it was now or never. This was his only chance. He took a deep breath and let it out slowly. With eyes on his goal he purposely marched forward his heartbeat racing in his chest, until he arrived at the very edge of the steep cliff. He looked down at the unforgiving waters belong, hungry waiting for its meal. Eiji thought of all he had done. He thought of all he was doing. He thought of all the people in his life. He thought of the one person he was going to. Eiji gridded his teeth and moved forward. The bag dropped from his hands, its content spilling out as it plummeted downwards.

 His cell phone smashed as it hit the jagged rocks. His passport fluttered down and got trapped between two sea-warn boulders. His sweeter floated down into the ocean and landed half submerged pinned against the side of the cliff by the dark rushing water. Dripping down into the sea from the spiky rocks was blood. It stained the rocks and the shirt a deep crimson color as it gleamed in the sunlight.

“Eiji Okumura is now officially dead.”

 Eiji took a shaky stepped backwards and sunk to the ground as he heard footsteps approach him. A warm arm wrapped gently around his shoulders. “Or so they’ll believe from your suicide note. They will see your ID and other possessions at the bottom of this cliff, as well as the packets of fake blood and assume your body was dragged out to the sea.” Eiji turned his head and buried his face in Ash’s warm embrace. He could feel Ash’s heart beat and hear his soft breathing. For the first time in a year he felt completely at home, safe and sound. It was like a part of him that was missing had been returned. Yet at the same time he could feel all that he had lost by making this decision. He knew he was hurting a lot of people.

Ash looked down at the Japanese boy. It had been so long since he had last held him. The last time they had talk to one another was three days ago, when Ash had contacted Eiji by phone when the latter had arrived for the funeral. He always wanted to hold Eiji again but not like this. Not when the other was so shook up and broken. He wanted Eiji to be happy but once again he caused him only grief and misery.

“I’m sorry.” Ash murmured as he his hand ran through the other man’s hair.

“Don’t be, I choose this.” Eiji said his voice muffled by Ash’s jacket. “I know that I can’t see them ever again…” His voice trailed off and he started to quietly weep. Ash’s hand moved down to rub his back gently.

“I’m sorry.” Ash repeated quietly, “This is my fault. I shouldn’t have given you this option. I should have disappeared from your life.”

“No!” Eiji sobbed harder grasping Ash’s jacket. “I’m happy you contacted me! I’m happy you’re alive.”

“I didn’t want you to morn me.” Ash said weakly. “I still have dangerous enemies. It’s for the best if I just disappear.”

“And I’ve chosen to disappear with you.” Eiji said taking a deep steadying breath and looking up into Ash’s green eyes. “Now your enemies won’t hunt down my family because I’m with to you. Now my family’s safe.” Eiji’s eyes started watering and for the first time in three days be began to cry. He turned away embarrassed and hid his face again in Ash’s jacket. Ash didn’t answer but instead hugged the other closer as the Japanese continued to mourn over his family and friends who he could never contact again.

They sat there for a while, both feeling a sense of completion and lost. Eiji’s quiet weeping was drowned by the crashing waves that would be his fake tomb. Finally, Ash glanced down at his watch and grimmest. He hated to cut Eiji off when he was so down, but they were running out of time. Ash gently detached himself and turned Eiji to face him.

“Eiji.” He said gently rubbing the tears away from the crying man’s face, “Ibe will start to wonder where you are soon. He’ll come looking for you. If he finds us here it would complicate things a lot. We need to go.” Eiji sniffed and gave a small nod. Ash stood up and helped out a hand to help Eiji to his feet. The Japanese wobbled when he stood up, dizzy from all the crying. Ash held him until he was stead on his feet. Eiji shivered again in the sudden cold. It was so warm in Ash’s embrace that he had forgotten where they were. Glancing down he remembered that he didn’t have shoes.

“Ash.” Eiji muttered looking down at his socks. Ash followed his gaze and then gave Eiji a comforting smile.

“Don’t worry I brought an extra pair.” Ash said nodded to a pair of black shoes that were sitting a few feet away from them. Eiji had been so focused on completing his task that he hadn’t even noticed that they were there. Eiji went over to put them on but Ash got there first. He bent over and slipped the two shoes on the smaller man’s feet. He glanced up at Eiji.

“They fit.” He said playfully. “It looks like I found my Cinderella.” Eiji blushed and glanced away as Ash chuckled quietly.

 

Ash and Eiji didn’t travel down the path to the graveyard, but instead took another route that lead towards a small gravel parking lot. The walk was quiet. Nether boys said a word out loud. They just walked, hand in hand, down the path enjoying each other’s presents. Walking down the dirt path with Ash felt like a dream. If it was, he never wanted to wake. Between the walk, the tranquilness of their surroundings, and Ash’s warm hand in his, Eiji found himself began to calm. His heavy feels and pain faded, though he knew they would return later. His breathing became even, and the only signs of his earlier crying was the red around his eyes and on his nose. Ash, noticing Eiji’s Zen state, squeezed his hand encouragingly. Eiji squeezed his hand back, grateful that he got this chance be with Ash again.

 

When they arrived at the parking lot Eiji found a grey motorcycle waiting for them. Ash led Eiji over to it and pulled a helmet off one of the handle bars. Then he detached his hand from Eiji so he could open a container in the back of the bike. Eiji wanted to grab Ash’s hand again, afraid he would vanish from existence like he did before, but instead he stilled himself. He waited patiently for Ash to finish his searching. Finally, Ash withdrew his hand and produced a small leather jacket.

“Put these on. We need to past though the town again and it would complicate things if we mistakenly bump into someone we know.”

“Alright.” Eiji said taking the items. He put the jacket on, grateful for its warmth and then plunked the helmet over his head.  The Japanese turned back to Ash who surveyed him with a thoughtful look.

“In those you almost look intimidating.” Ash mussed. “If only you didn’t have the body of a scrawny teenager, I might even think you looked threatening.

“Shut up.” Eiji pouted as Ash chuckled again. Eiji wished he could hear that beautiful sound forever.

“So, what are we going to do first?” The dark-haired man asked.

“We need to drive to Boston to pick up some fake IDs and passports.” Ash said as he pulled another helmet off the other handle bar and placing it on his head. “I have a contact there that will give it to us, no questions asked.”

“And then?” Eiji pressed. Ash chuckled lightly and mounted the motorcycle.

“After that we’ll leave this country.” He continued as he helped Eiji up onto the bike behind him. “We’ll take a plane to Europe. Then we will take a train down to Italy. I know of someone who lives there that I have business with. After that…. we’ll see.” He glanced over his shoulder at Eiji and for a second, he looked uncertain. “I don’t know if we’ll be able to stay any one place for very long…” His voice took an apologetic tone and his eyes searched Eiji’s dark ones.

“I don’t care.” Eiji said moving his arms around Ash’s waist and tightening his grip. “As long as I’m with you, we can go anywhere.” Ash uncertainty faded, replaced by a look of tranquil calmness. He turned forward and started the engine. It roared to life and they were off, zoomed down the road towards the highway. They turned a corner and the parking lot was gone from view.

 

_Here lies Ash Lynx and Eiji Okumura._

_Two souls intertwined as one_

_Reborn and together forever at last._

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> And that's it! I hoped you enjoyed it! If you so feel like it leave a kudo or a review (or both I'm not choosy). I would love to know your thoughts on the story!


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